Death Of An Immortal
by profoundfish
Summary: There are some things in life that cannot be changed.  Once you're dead, however, anything is possible, be it rebirth, a struggle to survive, or dying all over again.  Grimmjow/OC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hellooo my pretties~! This one's Grimmjow/OC, and it starts out short. It's likely the first couple chapters will barely reach 1, 500 words, but I'll try to improve the length as I contiue writing. Thanks to Bleached Kitty for beta-ing this; I'll try to do my very best to develop this little fanfic.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. That's Tite Kubo's job.**

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**Death Of An Immortal (Grimmjow Jeagerjaques)**

OH, life is a bitch. Especially when you gotta spend the whole time actually LIVING. I mean, where's the fun in that? Then again, who am I to talk... Heh. He'd get a kick outta this. _**Me. Writing. Jeez, how do you-**_Ah, that's better.

Moving on...I s'pose I should try and actually get all this down while I can. I mean, they've got me on a tight schedule here. Write, write, write some more...Yeah. Jam-packed with all kinds of crazy fun, am I right?

**Reino Mizari and Grimmjow Jeagerjaques...**

**...It was a match made in Hell. **

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**Chapter One: I wish we never met. Woulda saved me a world of trouble.**

I sat there, on that rock. Wishing it was a bigger rock, to be totally honest. Although...I wasn't quite sure that it was actually a rock. More like a really hard sand dune...? I dunno, I didn't think we had rocks.

Either way, it was hard to stretch out on the damn thing. Oh, yes, did I mention that I'm a cat? Well, not a cat really. See, I'd say I'm a panther, but a panther is really any big cat that's black. Yeah, it was a blow to me too.

So I'm just a black tiger. As if bein' a Hollow who survived by eating other Hollows wasn't weird enough, my adjucha form just _**had**_ to be a _**black**_ tiger. I didn't think it was possible either.

Alright, alright. For those not in the know, a Hollow is a soul gone bad. That's right. I'm totally badass, up here on this rock, afraid for my life. Those Soul Reapers give me a bad name. Anyway, off the subject of badness...I was just like any other Menos Grande before. A giant Hollow who ate a bunch of other Hollows and had a crazy level of spiritual pressure. But then, I've always been just a _**teensy**_ bit different. So I evovled all the way down to an adjucha. One more level to go, am I right?

And now I'm scared half outta my adjucha mind because some scary-ass group of...well, adjuchas, is out to get me. I think. Do I look tasty to you? I don't think I look tasty...

But this group thought so, apparently. A scrawny little adjucha like me, all stringy and wily...Oh in the name of Aizen, please don't eat me!

"Hey! You!" The one in front, presumably the leader, called out to me. I peeked down at him, wondering why such a small adjucha thought he could get away with eating me. Actually, please pretend I never thought that.

"Y-yeah? Whaddya want?" I snapped back, trying to act tough. Two words: EPIC FAIL.

"Look, you've got two options. Be my fraccíon, or be my dinner," he growled, a smirk on his feline face. Or, well, his...jaws? Just what _**do**_ you call a cat's mouth anyway?

"How does 'neither' sound? Look, I'm a loner. I know it's 'kill or be killed' and all that 'survival of the fittist' shit, but I really don't care. I prefer to get on with my life peacefully, thank you." I replied, licking my paw in an act of disinterest.

"Whatever. You're my prey now," he purred, completely ignoring my statement. Why that-WHOA!

He pratically flew up at me, ramming his head into my side. I was too shocked to move, and as such got knocked back into the ground. I slowly rose on unsteady legs, leaving a crater in my wake. Again, I say _**whoa.**_

I bared my canines at him, attempting to retain some amount of dignity. He smirked again, his claws coming out of nowhere to rake across my face.

Crimson blood stained the white ground, but was nearly invisible against my black fur. When I tried to dodge the follow-up blow, I ended up shoved against the boulder I'd previously been laying on.

He had me in a lose-lose situation. I could resist, and get killed, or do nothing, and get killed.

"I-I...Dammit!" I cursed, unable to think of anything else. His bright blue eyes stared at me piercingly for a moment, feeling as if they were piercing my very soul.

"Hmph." I watched, in utter shock, as he turned away to leave, his group of followers close behind him. Wait...some random, cold-hearted adjucha, just _**spared my life?**_ Was it me, or did I just miss something?

"W-wait! Where are you going?" I demanded, my muscles stiffening as I straightened myself out. He glanced back at me, looking for all the world as if I was some kind of insignifigant bug.

"None of your damn business. And if you wanna live to see tomorrow, I'd suggest you stop being such a pathetic little bitch," he spat. OMFG. He did NOT just call me a...a...

Yeah, well, he was gone before I could say that. And I didn't even get a name...Oh well, I'd know soon enough. Unfortunately.

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"W-wait! Mizari-sama, don't-Oh...Oh my..." My lone fraccíon, Iiana Lezzaro watched with little hope as I tried (and failed) to rouse my ole' buddy from his slumber.

"C'MON, GRIMMY~! GET OFF 'YER LAZY ASS~! WE GOT A MEETING TO GO TO!" I shouted, right in his ear. He didn't move a muscle. Jeez, that guy could sleep through the apocalypse! Time for a new plan..."Grimmy~! Gin and Ulquiorra are planning a surprise party for you~!" I whispered in his ear.

"WHAT? NO! SOMEBODY STOP THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS BEFORE-" He broke off when he noticed me standing beside him, snickering lightly at his messy hair and wrinkled clothes.

"Better go change...Then again, you've only got five minutes before the meeting, _**Grimmy~!"**_ I darted out of the room, slamming the door behind me. A split second later, something heavy crashed against that very same door. I took note of the brand new dent, right in the middle of all the other dents. His aim was getting better and better...

"M-Mizari-sama..._**please**_ refrain from angering Jeagerjaques-sama..." Iiana pleaded, attempting to make puppy dog eyes. Too bad for her, Arrancar couldn't exactly pull that off.

"Jeez, Iiana, just call me Reino. It's weeeird for you to call me 'Mizari-sama'...and 'Jeagerjaques' is a mouthful even without the -sama...Just call 'im Grimmy~!" I suggested, giggling at her outraged expression.

"MIZARI-SAMAAA!" She roared. Hmm. Now that I thought about it, maybe it was too weird for her to call me "Reino". It was a guy name, after all...Ah, well, that was something to be thought about while my life _**wasn't **_in danger.

After escaping Iiana, I went to change my own uniform before the meeting. Aw, I lied to poor Grimm. There was at least an hour left before the meeting started...Oh well, Aizen would appreciate him being a little early for once.

My uniform was, unlike Grimmjow's, somewhat decent. Sort of. Well, I considered it to be decent, at least in comparison to that of the other female Arrancars. I mean, _**really,**_ it was like there was some unspoken code that said I _**had**_ to dress like a slut just because I was female! A buncha nonsense if you ask me.

Anyhow, my uniform was just a white halter top (with the usual black layer underneath) and a pair of tight, capri-like white hakama. Sounds odd, I know, but it looked pretty damn good on me. Oh! And I had the usual silver sandals and black socks, of course. They're just such a tiny detail...

I trotted happily out of my room, my _shirasaya_ bouncing against my hip. I relished the light weight of my beautifully crafted sword at my side; he and I got along very well. He was a good guy, as far as zanpaku-to are concerned...much like myself, in fact~! "Mizari-sama, we've still got about twenty minutes left until the meeting," Iiana reported, saluting me ever so slightly as she approached.

Iiana was even more conservative than me; she wore a high necked, sleeveless top (in that Chinese style) and the usual long hakama pants, her black socked, silver sandaled feet sticking out from under them. If it weren't for the silver sandals, both of our feet would blend in with the floor, actually. Anything to be different from the Shinigami; that might as well be Aizen's motto.

"Yeah, I know. But if I hadn't told him that, Grimm would've taken hours to get off his stupid ass!" I whined, pleading my innocence.

"Mizari-sama-"

"I know, I know, 'stop using expletives'! I can't help it, Ian-chan. It's second nature," I replied solomnly, cutting off her words. I'd heard them often enough, much to my agitation. I _**would**_ get some up-tight prat as my fraccíon...Sometimes I thought Iiana would be much better off with Ulquiorra! Maybe she wouldn't get on _his_ case about the damn "expletives"...Then again, I'd never heard him utter a single curse word. Though he did say "trash" a lot.

Huh. Perhaps they'd get along well after all...But I'd be so looonely if Iiana left me all alooone..."Don't leave me Ian-chaaan~!" I wailed out of the blue, latching onto my lone fraccíon with the famed "grip of Death". She gave me a pointed glare, but didn't bother trying to shrug me off. It was common knowledge that, once ensnared in my grasp, one was unlikely to escape before I deemed it neccessary to detatch myself. Luckily for her I was distracted by some shiny object mere moments later as a result of my (also famous) extremely short attention span.

"Mizari-sama..." Iiana murmured softly, tapping me on the shoulder.

"Yeah?" I replied, still otherwise occupied in the study of my newly-found candy wrapper.

"It's time."

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**A/N: Well, that was fun~ I hope someone out there enjoyed it as much as I did~**

**~Tobi~**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, I just felt kinda bad, okay? 'Cause the first one's so short, and this one's pretty much the same length. It'll be about this length until Chapter Five, but there just isn't much I can do about that. Thanks again to the ever-wonderful Bleached Kitty for bein' my beta, even though we haven't gotten too far with this fanfic yet. Ah, well, it's getting there, chapter by chapter. These first few are mostly humor, though, simply because I find it a bit too easy to write humor. The most plot so far appears in Chapter Three, and along with it, Reino's zanpaku-to~!**

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**Chapter Two: I. Hate. You. Oh, look, it rhymes!**

Sosuke Aizen, formerly Captain of the Fifth Squad of the Gotei 13, currently "King" of Hueco Mundo, was, at present, creating a new record.

This meeting was the most boring yet. All the idiot did was sit there in his little throne, spouting his usual propaganda, while we sipped away at some kind of tea, which I HATE quite whole-heartedly. No news about the Shinigami, no orders about what the hell we were supposed to be doing, nothing! Sometimes (as in every day) I wondered why I even bothered showing up to these things.

Yeah, and then I remembered he'd slaughter me if I did. And I hadn't even gotten to the worst part of it yet!

Because I was the Seventh Espada, taking some stick-up-his-ass guy's place, I had to sit next to a DEMON. Also known as Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the _**Sixth**_ Espada. Like he didn't shove his rank in my face every day already, I had _**this**_ to contend with!

Iiana was, as usual, no assistance to me in this department. She was always saying how "noble" the former Seventh Espada was, how "honored" I should be that I was ranked in the first place, and how I should respect my "superiors". Hmph. As if that son of a hamster deserved my _precious_ respect. More like he deserved a nice kick in the ass, curtesy of _**moi!**_

"Mizari-chan, whaddya say~?" The exceedingly annoying voice of none other than Gin Ichimaru interrupted my vengeful thoughts. I slowly glanced over at him, trying to remember what it was we were talking about. Well, what it was they were talking about while I tuned them out.

"Uh...what was the question?" I asked nervously, not liking the wider-than-usual grin on his face.

"You and dearest Grimmy are headed to the living world~! Together~! Alone~!" He emphasized the words in a way that, to his great satifaction, creeped me out. Well, the guy was a freaking madman! How the hell was I supposed to deal with that? I mean, just look at him, with that big, creepy smile, and that weird, pointy-Waaait just one second. WHAT THE FUR?

"Try HELL NO!" I protested, at the same time Grimmjow snarled,

"Try FUCK NO!" Okay, so his words weren't quite as minced as mine, but it was still weird to have the same reaction...Maybe our brains were connected in some super-weird alien way? It sure would explain a lot...I'd hafta ask Szayel. Ew.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice," Aizen drawled, looking every bit the bored-yet-fearless leader he was supposed to be. Unlike the other Arrancar, however, I didn't follow him because of how "fearless" he was. That was total B.S. I was just in this mess 'cause I didn't have a choice. Aizen wasn't the kind of guy to take "no" for an answer. He also wasn't the kind of guy to take "hell no" for an answer. Or...well, you know. Adding expletives didn't help, no matter which ones ya' chose.

Even Grimmjow knew better than to argue with Aizen, it seemed, although he continued to mutter angrily under his breath as the meeting wore on. I myself didn't feel the need to go on and on; unlike Grimmjow, I had some small amount of self control.

"You're all dismissed," Aizen finally announced, to my (and most likely everyone elses') great relief. Iiana stayed close by my side (per usual) as we all filtered through the massive double doors, each heading in our respective directions. One thing, however, was wrong.

The second we made it through the doors, Iiana darted off in the opposite direction, dark hair fanning out behind her. Even more strange than her leaving me in the dust was the fact that she wasn't even using Sonido...I knew better than to try and run after her, though. She could be nye uncatchable if she wanted to be.

"Well, damn...," I muttered, slouching a bit. Without Iiana there, I was utterly alone. For some reason, Aizen never saw it fit to give me more than one fraccíon...Which really wasn't fair, since Tía had three, and Grimmjow had...Uh...Four? Five? Wait, so there was D-Roy, Shawlong, Illforte, Edorad, and...Gah! I couldn't remember to save my life. I felt sure I was missing someone, but I had no idea who it was! I'd have to remember to ask Grimmjow later on...Ugh. The last thing I wanted was to endure another second in his company.

Oh! But that was right...I still needed to talk to Szayel, and ask him about the weird alien connection between me and ole' Grimmy~!

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**With Iiana**

Iiana Lezarro wasn't a particularlly powerful Arrancar. Of course, she was a Numero, and number 19 at that, but it was only because she'd been born then. She did, however, have a mission.

It was her duty as a fraccíon to protect and serve Reino Mizari, the current Seventh Espada. Neither of them were well acquainted with the former Seventh Espada; he'd been there one day, gone the next. And so Mizari-sama had replaced him. That was how things were in the palace of Las Noches. There was no room for weakness.

Mizari-sama was strong, though. Stronger than Szayel and Aarronerio and Yammy. Perhaps even stronger than Grimmjow. After all, they'd never fought in a direct battle before, which she found to be quite strange. They were constantly arguing, yet they never battled. Not once.

But Mizari-sama was free to do as she wished, as was Grimmjow-sama. Iiana had no say in the doings of Espada. She did have a say in her Espada's safety, though, and right now Mizari-sama was in much more danger than she realized.

So, it was Iiana's job to help her. Perhaps, if she was lucky, the danger could be eliminated before Mizari-sama realized she'd intervened. Otherwise...

Well, Mizari-sama didn't take interference well. If Iiana didn't act with utmost caution, she'd find out and most likely disown Iiana as her fraccíon! That couldn't be allowed to happen! Reino Mizari was her only Espada, and she was going to keep it that way.

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**Wheee~ Back to Reino~**

I slowly trugded out of Szayel's laboratory, depression hanging over me like a giant sign that said "DEPRESSION". Yeah, things were that bad.

According to Szayelaporro Grantz...A-according to S-Szayelaporro Grantz...

"Oh! It's to horrible to even think!" I wailed, finally giving up on trying to walk and throwing myself onto the ground.

Yes, well, my reaction should've made it obvious enough anyway. Szayel said there was no alien connection between me and Grimmjow's minds. Don't get me wrong, though; that was a good thing. "But I was wroooong~! How could I possibly be wrong, I'm the smartest person in the whole damn world! Noooo..."

The ground was quickly becoming my new best friend.

"Hey, woman. The hell're you doing on the floor?"...Of course, HE would show up when I was most depressed, and therefore most vulnerable! Vile, despicable, foul, evi-"You do realize you're saying that out loud?" Grimmjow snickered, nudging me in the side like I was some kinda animal, lying dead on the ground...Poor Roadkill Reino...

"Oh, shut up and leave me alone," I whined, stretching into a sitting position. For a moment, I avoided meeting Grimmjow's eyes, looking at the floor, the ceiling, the wall, the floor again. Anywhere but him. Then I realized it was pointless and started to stare at him fiercly, putting as much hatred as possible behind the action.

He was more than willing to return the favor, so we sat there for a while, staring each other down. I'm ashamed to say I blinked first.

"MWAHAHAHA! I WIN! I BEAT YOUR SORRY ASS THIS TIME, REINO!"

"FINE, FINE, GO AHEAD AND RUB IT IN MY FACE, YA' WORTHLESS JERK!"

"IF THAT'S ALL YOU GOT, BRING IT ON, BITCH!"

"WHAT'D YOU JUST CALL ME? I'M GONNA KICK YOUR DAMN ASS INTO NEXT WEEK, DIRTY SON OF A-"

"Now, now, ya'll jus' need ta' settle down~" The ever-eerie Gin interrupted our battle to the death, patting a fuming me on the head. I twitched slightly, and shifted my if-looks-could-kill glare to him, but he was strangely unaffected. Huh. Maybe _he_ was the alien..."After all, ya'll're goin' on a _special_ mission t'gether, ain't 'cha?"

It took me a second to decipher the message he was trying to get across, but once I did, a fullscale depression sank in once again. I flopped to the floor, overly-dramatic tears pouring down my face.

"Great, look at what you've done, Gin. This time you can smack her back to her senses...," Grimmjow grumbled, looking away from my hysterical fit with an expression that could only be described as disgust.

"Oh, but Grimm-chaaan~, I'd rather see how ya' handle it on yer own~!" Gin quipped cheekily, flash-stepping away before Grimmjow could inflict any damage on him.

Yes, the same Grimmjow who hadn't spared me a second glance after he got distracted by Gin.

"Y-you d-dumbaaaass!" I wailed, crawling over and grabbing him by the ankle.

"H-hey! The hell d'ya think you're doing? Stop that, dammit!" he cursed, trying to shake me off. I, on the other hand, wasn't having any of it. This was the return of my still-famous-and-now-better-known grip-of-Death. Like hell was he getting away!

"No! I'm not letting go of you, y-you meanie!" To further prove my point, I wiped my snotty nose on his hakama, watching with some small satisfaction as it made a large patch of sticky wetness.

"Y-YOU-! GET-THE-HELL-OFF-OF-ME-NOW!"

"NONONONONONONONO!"

"I SAID, GET THE FUCK OFFA ME ALREADY!"

"WAAAAH! GRIMMY'S BEIN' A POTTY-MOUTH!"

"WHY-YOU-LITTLE-GAAAH!"

That's right. The famously violent Grimmjow had tried to use force against poor, innocent me, who was doing nothing more than hanging onto him like a toddler and using his pants as a tissue.

So I bit his hand. Hard. With my sharper-than-natural canines.

Hee hee~!

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A/N: See, another little one. Well, if these little ones get a big response, I'll be mighty encouraged to put up the next few~

~Tobi~


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: That's right, I'm ALREADY posting chapter three, even though I should limit myself before I run out of chapters. This chapter is actually the shortest, so please bear with me, but it has the most plot! Yes, indeed, I have finally incorporated plot! XD I'll try to do that more. **

**Thanks to Bleached Kitty once again for beta-ing, and Roisin tine, my first ever reviewer! Even I sometimes find myself laughing aloud as I write this. X)**

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**Chapter Three: "Fun In Karakura". What a Jacked Up Phrase.**

I peeked over at Grimmjow, gauging his expression. Oh, shit. Things did not look good for me...he was SERIOUSLY pissed. One glance at his thoroughly bandaged right hand could tell ya' why.

Honestly, I was starting to regret biting him. Not because it was immature, and not because it pissed him off. "Immature" held no meaning for me, and I lived to piss him off.

No...My regret was stemming from the fact that I had to spend the next week or so with this pissy Grimmjow in this hell-hole of a town.

Of course, it wasn't really a bad town, I supposed. Not usually, anyway. However...Grimmjow being there automatically made it the no.1 Place I did NOT want to be.

Don't get me wrong; I begged and pleaded with Aizen, trying every trick in the book to change his mind, but he couldn't be swayed. And I didn't dare risk cussing him out, lest I lose my head. I like my head where it is, thank you very much.

"L-let's try to work together on this one, eh, Grimmy-" Oops. Force of habit. Just sort of...slipped out...

The now more-pissed (who'd 'ave thought that possible) face of Grimmjow told me he was less-than-pleased with my attempts to reconcile. I was just honestly glad he hadn't decided to verbally rebuke me. We may be besties and all (or, me-declared besties, anyway), but Grimmjow still scared the hell outta me when he started pitching a fit. "Oh _come on,_ Grimmjow, it's just a hand-"

"_'Just a hand'? JUST A FUCKING HAND? _THIS IS NO ORDINARY HAND, MIZARI, THIS IS _**MY **_HAND! MINE! KEEP YOUR TEETH TO YOURSELF, DAMMIT!" he exploded, interrupting me in a manner I found quite rude. But I'd have to pet the kitty's ego now, and rebuke him for speaking out of turn later...

"Well, I can't help having sharp teeth. Blame Angel, everything's his fault anyway. Grimmjow, your hand is beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!" I gushed, quite literally petting him on the head. All though the ego was probably located ELSEWHERE, I much preferred his head. It was reeeally soft, like actual kitty fur! You could never tell just by looking at it, 'cause it seemed so spiky, but it was really frickin' SOFT! Best stuff in the world.

That settled it. I wanted a bed of Grimmy hair for Christmas!

"Jeez, Mizari, you bipolar or somethin'? One second blame 'Angel', whoever the hell that is, next second 'beautiful hand'! WTF mood-swings!" he snickered. I could've swore I saw little horns sprouting from that spiky mass of blue hair, but they disappeared seconds later. Damn, there went my pixie theory.

"Don't copy Iiana-chan, Grimmy. An'way, the hell're we doing in Karakura? What's Aizen thinking, sending us _**here**_ of all places?" I asked, a dark scowl on my face. If I had a tail, it would've twitched in irritation.

Only, I don't have a tail. 'Least, not right now.

Grimmjow glanced over at me, shocking aqua orbs flickering in amusement,"Dumbass. We're here for Him, weren't ya' listening when Gin was running his mouth off?"

Oh. Him. That made a helluva lot more sense than just standing out here with Grimmjow...

"Any idea where He is?"

"No. Aizen didn't tell me shit."

"Do you have to cuss every time you open your mouth?"

"Pretty much."

Oh, the joys of working with Grimmjow...

_**(Keep your guard up, Reino. They could appear anywhere.)**_

That would be the little voice in my head! 'Cept he isn't there because I'm crazy or anything, aha...He's Angel, my beloved zanpaku-to! He and I have a very special relationship~!

_**(Don't introduce me like I'm some supporting cast member. And don't say it like that, it sounds kinky.)**_

Like, we don't get along at all most of the time. He's annoying, acting like he's my mother or overprotective older brother or something...Nya. Idiot.

_**(I can hear you, you know.)**_

Wouldn't have thought it otherwise, dearie. That aside, his name isn't actually Angel, 'cause that would be one helluva cliché, am I right? His full name is _**Cadavor de Arcángeles**_, meaning-

_**(It's Them.)**_

_There's no way I wouldn't have sensed them first, Ang-_

I froze. He was right...About twenty or so kilometers to my right was an enormous mass of _seireiatsu*._ And...It was familiar. Too damn familiar, in fact.

"Shit," I muttered, placing my hand on Angel's hilt and readying myself for battle. When Grimmjow said Him, I assumed he meant "HIM" not "_Him"._

_**(Gabriel.)**_

His arrival was instantaneous, His _seiriatsu_ overwhelming. But I'd be damned if I kneeled before this...this _**thing!**_ "Gabriel. It's been a while," I greeted him smoothly, rather than shouting in his face and trying to beat him up. Oh, the temptation.

An average human would have described him as heavenly, holy, beautiful, or some other variation. I described him as pompous, stuck-up, arrogant, good-for-nothing, and a helluva lot of other not-so-nice terms.

He nodded politely, soft brown curls bouncing,"Reino. Murmur."

I winced at that. Angel didn't appreciate being called by his..._former_ name. I waited for the onslaught of his rage, but it didn't come.

_Angel?_

_**(He may call me whatever he likes. It does not change anything.)**_ He was trying to sound cool and collected; however, I could hear the hard edge in his voice.

"What do you want, Gabriel? Why doesn't that ass Michael come down and take care of things himself, for once?" I asked, exhaustion clear in my tone. Dealing with Them was always a tiring business for me. I was _so_ gonna get Grimmjow for this later...Making me scout for damn Shinigami, which were nowhere in sight at the moment. Of course, they couldn't sense _seireiatsu_. That was something only I could do because of my connection with Angel.

"The time in which you must act draws near," he replied solomnly, ever the cryptic one. That was part of the Prophecy business, I supposed.

"That all-"

"I will be seeing you again soon," he interrupted calmly.

And then he disappeared, as quickly as he had come. A single light-brown feather was the only sign he'd ever been there in the first place.

_**(He's most likely gone to report back to Michael.)**_ Angel stated.

_Right. But do you think Ra-_

_**(No. He is on other business.)**_

I scrunched my face into a sort of demented pout, disappointed at the absence of my favorite. Despite being one of Them, he was highly entertaining. Even Angel, who had once known him on a more personal level, agreed that he was easy to get along with. For one of Them, of course.

"Hey, Mizari," a rough voice prompted, as a foreign hand tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped nearly a foot in the air, then whirled around to face him.

"Grimmjowww! Don't sneak up on me like that!" I whined, slapping his hand away. When he twitched in obvious rage, I realized it was the very same hand I'd bitten. Oops.

Something about my expression must've been off, though, 'cause Grimmjow's narrowed eyes were filled with suspicion.

"They showed up." It was not a question.

"Perhaps."

"Which one was it?" he pressed, irked at my unwillingness to answer.

"Him."

"Mizari! Tell me!" he shouted, taking me by the shoulders and shaking me. I gave him a sharp glare, but answered nonetheless.

"Of course, it would be Him. We _are_ calling it the 'Winter War', after all," I mused, a smirk alighting my features. Now that I thought about it, it made sense for Gabriel to appear instead of Michael. It was that time of year.

"Shit."

My thoughts exactly, Grimmjow.

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**A/N: See, short! But you finally got to meet Reino-chan's zanpaku-to, which I suppose is kind of a good thing, even though his true cameo won't come until much later. Have any of you figured out who "They" are yet?**

**~Tobi~**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I reeeally shouldn't be updating this fast. It'll make ya'll think I'm a fast updater, which I'm not, really. I figured that since I've got up to here written, though, I might as well post it. And Ichigo, the main character of the series, finally shows up in this chapter! XD**

**Special Thanks To: Bleached Kitty, once again, for your beta work (and commentary XD), Roisin tine, for reviewing and alerting, and all you other people who did the same, but may prefer to remain anonymous. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Or Grimmjow. Damn.**

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**Chapter Four: The Strawberry is coming, the Strawberry is coming! It's about time!**

_**(Reeeeino! Gimme gimme gimme!) **_Angel whined. I could picture him on his knees, hands clasped together, pleading with the almighty me! Bwahaha!

_For the sixteenth time, and before you ask, I DID keep count, you cannot have a brownie sundae. And YES, I know you love them, but we don't have __**time**__ for that, Grimmy'll get pissed again if we slack off!_

Yeah, thaaat's right, we'd already been through this once before, when Angel wanted a StarBucks Strawberries & Crème Frappuchino. Unfortunately, I'd given in, 'cause I reeeally wanted a Cinnamon Dolce Crème Frappuchino, and, well, ya' just can't suppress that kind of a craving.

But Grimmjow caught us, and threatened to rip us limb from limb if we did it again. We still got our Frappuchino's...but I knew Grimmjow was dead-serious. Haha. Play on words. Get it? "Dead" serious? Like we'd be DEAD if we did it again.

_Hear that, Angel? DEAD?_

_**(Well yeah, you already said it four times. And, before you ask, I DID keep count!)**_

_Don't get sassy with me, little missy!_

_**(. . .)**_

Oh, and before I forget, the Strawberry. In Angel's eyes, a holy creation above all else. If he didn't get his strawberries, I didn't get my "quiet time"-time where Angel agreed to keep his mouth shut and give me a little peace. My "quiet time" is the most valuable thing in all existence.

That was the only reason Angel agreed to this whole "scouting" thing in the first place; Substitue Shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki's fabled nickname was "Strawberry". What could possibly be more interesting than that to a strawberry fanatic?

_**(My brownie sundae.)**_

_With strawberry icecream, strawberry sauce, and actual strawberries. You might as well get a strawberry sundae._

_**(But the brownie is just soooo good...)**_ And now I had a mental image of his mouth watering. See, it's my belief that Angel has this salivating problem-

_**(I do not!)**_

-But I don't think he agrees with me.

_**(Pay attention, you dolt!) **_Angel scowled, beyond mad at me. O'course I knew what he meant. The Strawberry had emerged from his hidey-hole.

"Yo, Smurf Kitty! This is Pink Panther on Line 1, I've sighted Strawberry!" I reported into the microphone-like transmitter Grimmjow had given me. I assumed he either got it from Szayel or shop-lifted it from some human store. It was ridiculously easy for us, after all.

"What's your location?"

"Wow, you're actually playing along for once!"

"Just gimme the damn location!"

". . .Use your pesquisas, dumbass." Insert hysterical laughter on my part...and rampant raging on his part. No new material, though, just the usual temper tantrum. He is truly, and I quote (myself), a "Dumb Ass". Like, you could seperate the two words or put them together, and it'd still describe him perfectly. He was stupid _**and**_ a jerk.

_**(Now, now, Reino. Play nice.)**_

_You aren't my-_"WHOA!" I cried out, quickly jumping backwards as the building I'd been sitting on collapsed. And no, it wasn't because I was too heavy.

A certain orange-headed numbskull had decided to drop in. Literally. "Well, if it isn't the famous Strawberry~!" I proclaimed jovially, waving at the teenage Shinigami. He eyed me warily, obviously waiting for me to attack. Which I didn't. Hey, this was Grimmjow's fight, not mine. I preferred not to get involved in unneccessary battles, especially when it could get me into trouble with Aizen.

"I thought I sensed an Arrancar in this area...But you don't have a hollow hole, or a mask...Although that _does_ look like their clothing. Maybe you're a traitor Shinigami...," he mused, apparently talking to himself.

"Nope, I'm not a Shinigami. Guess again~!" Oooh, this was fun. Grimmjow never told us how ridiculously _**easy**_ it was to mess with this kid.

"A Bount!"

"Nope."

"Human!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Cat!"

"Close, but no."

"Then what the hell are you?" he finally exploded. With his vibrant orange hair, it almost looked like he was on fire.

I paused, allowing the suspense to build for a moment. Then I decided to have mercy upon the poor Strawberry's soul; it couldn't be easy for his tiny brain to wait for prolonged periods of time. He'd spontaneously combust if I didn't speak soon...

"Answer the damn question!" he snapped, seeing through my clever plan with Grimmjow-like anger. Great, that's just what the world needs, _**another**_ Grimmjow.

"I am...A...Ahhhhh...Rrrrrrr...Ahhhh...Nnnnnn-"

"What the fuck are those retarded sounds supposed to mean?"

_**(Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear...)**_

_Shut up, Angel!_

Indeed, there stood Grimmjow, in all his irritable glory.

_**(...His Royal Jerkness has arrived.)**_

_Way to state the obvious, Angel._

Grimmjow was, unsurprisingly, looking cheerful, though the sneer on his face wasn't maing me feel any better.

"Let me guess; you want me to stand by and do nothing while you show off your awesome power," I said sourly.

He replied by flying towards Ichigo and bashing the kid's face in with a punch. I winced at the loud cracking sound of bones breaking. Poor, poor kid. Despite his remarkable _reiatsu,_ he didn't stand a chance against Grimmjow's raw fighting style.

The fight retained the one-sidedness I'd predicted for a while: Grimmjow pummeling, Ichigo trying to retaliate and failing, and me looking on in utter boredome. Even Angel, the chattiest person I knew, was so brain-numbed by boredom, he didn't talk to me.

That was about the time I figured out the apocalypse was coming. Aaaand about the time something interesting happened.

Ichigo - yes, the Ichigo who'd been getting his ass smacked into the ground moments before - put his hand over his face, gathering _reishi _and solidifying it into...A mask?

"Holy crap!" I blurted, unable to surpress my compulsive desire to speak.

_**(That's hardly appropriate; Shinigami aren't holy creatures.)**_

_Technically, neither are you. _

The topic of holiness was "hardly appropriate" for the current situation. Also known as the extreme turning of tables, in which _**Grimmjow's**_ ass was the one getting kicked.

_**(Yeah, maybe you should **__**get down there and help!**__**)**_

"Ahhh, fine," I scowled, drawing Angel from his sheath. Taking a deep breath, I steadied my _reiatsu_ and shouted, "_**Arrasar, Cazador de Arcángeles!**_"

Instantaneously, a blinding blast of light shot out from the sword raised before me, obliterating everything in its path. Unfortunately, that happened to include Ichigo _and_Grimmjow. Oops. "Shit! Grimmjow! Grimmykins! Grimmgrimmkitty! Muffyjow! Jowjowmuffins! GRIMM-CHAAAAN, WHERE AAARE YOU?" I wailed, searching through the rubble as I called out his many nicknames. What I unearthed, however, was not the blue-haired man I was digging for. Instead, it was a carrot-topped teenager, looking both tired and battered, but most definitely alive.

"Hey, was that really neccessary?" he snapped, shooting a glare at me. I shrugged, feeling too hopeless to reply. I...I killed Grimmjow!

_**(Oh yes, whatever will the world do without that manic menace?)**_

_Shut up, Angel! Grimmjow was...Grimmjow was special! Aizen is never gonna let me live this down!_

"Nooooo!" I shouted, tears streaming down my face, "Aizen's going to kill me! He's gonna kill me dead with that scary-ass sword!"

_**(So that's what you were worried about. Jeez, for a second there I thought you actually had a heart.)**_

_I do have a heart! And the second we get back, it's gonna be run through by friggin' Aizen!_

"What the hell're you bitching about this time?" A wonderfully familiar voice griped from behind me. I spun around, my tears drying at the sight of the beautifully alive Espada.

"Muffalkingrimm!" I squealed, throwing myself at Grimmjow and wrapping my arms around his waist.

He glared down at me; his cyan eyes were looking as happy as ever, and were miraculously intact. "Get the fuck off of me," he growled, struggling to loosen my hold on him. Per usual, his efforts were of little help. I was stuck to him like super-glue, and fully intended to stay that way for the rest of time, until the day I, a nearly immortal Arrancar, dropped dead of old age.

Seeing that removing me would be a nearly impossible task, Grimmjow instead turned his attention to Ichigo, shooting a pointed look at the Ginger. But wait, Ichigo didn't have freckles, and was kind of tan, so maybe he was a Day-walker instead...? My lapse in thought allowed Grimmjow to shake me off; this didn't really bother me, though, seeing as I was more focused on the debate my mind had created. After all, that one video portrayed Kariya as a Day-walker! And a member of NAMBLA! Did that mean Ichigo...? No!

"Hey! Strawberry!" I shouted, waving my arms wildly. He gave me a look that clearly doubted my sanity, but didn't otherwise reply. "STRAWBERRY! ARE YOU A MEMBER OF NAMBLA? SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE!" I screeched at the top of my lungs. This, however, only seemed to confuse him.

"WHAT'S NAMBLA?" he yelled back at me. Mind you, we were only yelling because we were so far apart. Actually, how did that happen? A moment ago, he was right next to me...

"NORTH AMERICAN MAN BOY LOVE ASSOCIATION!" I replied, cupping my hands around my mouth to further amplify the volume at which I shouted.

Both males looked semi-horrified; I assumed it was because they'd misheard me. "YOU KNOW, THE _**NORTH AMERICAN MAN BOY LOVE ASSOCIATION!"**_ I nearly screamed at them.

That time, they seemed to understand what I was saying, and yet, they still held expressions of utter disgust.

_**(Most sane men would be a bit grossed out at the thought of any kind of man-boy love organization. Besides, we're in Japan.) **_Angel pointed out.

_Oh. Right._

Before I could form an explanation for my words, a rip in space appeared, Ulquiorra stepping out of it. The look on his countanence was solemn, perhaps even slightly displeased.

"Grimmjow, Reino," he greeted us. I felt a sudden urge to hug him, he looked so damn sad.

"Geez, Clown," I sighed, his sorrowful face affecting my own emotions, "I'm gonna hafta change your name if you keep that face up." I could've sworn he glared at me, but it's always hard to tell with Clown.

"It's time to return. Aizen-sama wishes to speak with you."

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**A/N: Yay! The longest chapter yet! Of course, long does kind of mean a longer wait, but I've got the whole next chapter planned out, so it shouldn't be too difficult...If I get at least one encouraging review...Ya'll know ya' want to! If need be, ya' can just comment on the South Park references. XD 'Sides, one review goes a long way. Thanks for that again, Roisin tine!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this kinda took forever to get out. First, I had writer's block yet again, and then I realized I had one day left on my deadline before I had to put out a Christmas Special. I don't know if I should add it here...It'd probably just be a tiny little one-shot, and I had way too much fun with it. Ah, well, I s'pose I'll end up adding it on a whim.**

**Also! I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Personally, my Christmas was great (new Hetalia DVDs!), and my New Year was seriously lacking, but that's just me. Thanks to Roisin tine, HarvesttheVampire, and Ninja Tiger for reviewing (that just makes my day!). Of course, additional thanks to Bleached Kitty, the awesomely awesome beta. Sorry about your sleep pattern, but mine is probably equally as bad...I'm really going to regret that when school smacks me in the face, aren't I?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I do own Reino-chan and Iiana-chan. And maybe Angel-chan, although technically, I guess you could say God owns him too. ;D**

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**Chapter Five: King Clown and the Green Diplomacy**

I sighed despondently, unsettled by the thought of a meeting with _**Aizen**_ of all people. Ulquiorra's feet didn't make a sound against the black tile as he walked in front of us, leading us towards the room of our potential demise.

Even more off-putting was the room itself; rather than the usual throne room, we were being led towards one of Aizen's _private rooms._Every Arrancar in Las Noches knows a meeting in one of those is likely to lead to _very_ bad things. And no, that rhyme wasn't intentional. At all.

And me? I was a friggin' _woman. _Maybe Grimmjow, clearly male and therefore undesirable, stood a chance, but it was hopeless for me, a beautiful young lady. I-I'd be-I'd be-

"Could ya' just calm the hell down already?" Grimmjow hissed from beside me. I looked up (now that I paid attention, the height difference between us was really rather annoying) to see his cyan blue eyes staring ahead, a certain coldness in them that hadn't been present during our visit to the Living World. That was to be expected, though; even I couldn't completely ignore the negativity Las Noches seemed to carry, with its stark white walls and pitch black floors. Really, no originality at all!

By this point, we'd reached our destination. Ulquiorra motioned for us to enter. "Hey, Clown, any idea what he wants us for?" I asked hopefully.

"No," he answered, his voice overflowing with emotion. Damn it all, I should've known better than to ask _**Clown**_ a serious question!

"Well thanks for try-," The door slammed behind us before I could continue, subsequentially cutting off my words.

_**(Indeed, we're surrounded by such kind-hearted killers.)**_

_The sarcasm is duly noted, Angel, but not really appreciated._

"Mizari...How good to see you again," Aizen greeted us-_me_-warmly.

I bowed slightly, hoping the gesture of respect would soften him up a little. Aw, heck, who was I fooling? Aizen was about as soft as a diamond!

_**(I like diamonds...)**_

_Shut up, Angel!_

"Actually," Aizen continued, a smirk gracing his features, "I have a request for you. Grimmjow, you may leave."

Fear trickled down my spine as I watched my only comfort item grudgingly stomp out of the room. He could've at least argued a little, if only to stall for time! "So...What was it you wanted from me, exactly?" I asked, struggling to hide my nervousness. However, Aizen, much like a bird of prey, was able to sense my fear, and seemed to take great pleasure in it. Of course, according to my therapist, I'm not a "people person", so the smile could've been a sign of happiness. Right? Aizen's a happy person, isn't he?

_**(You aren't even fooling yourself with that one.)**_

"We have a problem, and only someone with your particular abilites can fix it for us. We need to go green, you see," he explained. Green...?

"Why would you need to go green?" I questioned, confused. Wasn't he happy with his current skin color? I didn't see anything wrong with being white. At least, not anything that would drive him to become a new breed of smurf.

"Not me, Las Noches," he clarified. "We're having a lot of technical issues with our current set-up, and it just isn't cost efficient. I need you to go to the Living World, obtain the necessary supplies, and make Las Noches an environmentally friendly place. Can you do that?"

"Of course!" I answered eagerly. Sure, I still didn't understand why he wanted me to paint Las Noches green, but hey, I was home free!

_**(I don't think that was precisely what he meant.)**_

_Don't be stupid, Angel, what else could he mean?_

_**(Well, I suppose it's better if you figure it out for yourself. That way, you might actually learn something...)**_

A few hours later, I'd gathered all the equipment I needed: several thousand gallons of green paint, more paint brushes and rollers than I cared to count, and my trusty minion, Iiana.

"Are you sure he wants you to paint everything green?" she asked, clearly doubting my mental capabilities.

"Of course," I replied confidently, setting my ladder against the wall. "He said so himself. What else could he have meant?"

"Um...Nothing," she sighed. Soon, we were both working silently, painting Aizen's throne room a vibrant shade of green. It was no simple task; the walls were extremely vast, and the cieling was ridiculously high up. We had to work out a buddy system in order to reach it; Iiana used her sword, Gaia, to boost me into the air, and I used Angel to coat the cieling in splotches of paint. The system was essentially flawless, and created by none other than the great me!

O'course, everything went downhill when we moved on to the Espada's private rooms...First, the, well, _first_ Espada, Coyote Starrk, and his companion, Lilynette Gingerback. Two more people who made my name seem unpleasantly _normal. _They weren't there when we arrived, but the real problem was the room itself. Designed to look like a sort of giant lounge, it was filled with couches and miniature tables, and some of those long things you lay down on, too. How were we supposed to paint those green? Wouldn't soaking them in paint just damage the stuffing or whatever?

Fortunately, that problem was solved when I sent Iiana back to the Living World for green fabric dye. Also fortunately, the ever-irratible Barragan wasn't in his "palace", and we managed to finish the whole place before he returned.

Not-so-fortunately, Tía Halibel was actually _**in**_ her room. I mean, Tía and I were cool, but once upon a time I was great friends with Nel. Like sisters, y'know? So it was kind of awkward...And I was pretty sure her Fracción hated me. Not _totally _sure, of course, but tripping me in the hall, dropping tea pots on my head, and rigging my room with random assorted traps made it seem like I wasn't exactly their favorite person.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" One, a female with short black hair, a horn-shaped Hollow mask, and mismatching eyes snapped.

_**(Apacci's her name.)**_

_Thanks._

I wasn't entirely sure how to reply, though, so I just sort of told them the honest truth. "Well, Aizen told me to paint Las Noches green, so...Here I am...?"

"No! No, no, no, NO!" Apacci roared. I slowly backed away from her; my ears were far too sensitive for that level of loudness.

"Well, that's what he said..."

"Are you certain?" Tía questioned. I looked over at her, surprised. Tía didn't usually speak unless spoken to. Not that I minded, but it was a tad unusual.

"He said we were 'going green'. What else could he have meant?" I asked in return. Everyone looked strangely exasperated at that. I looked at each of them in turn, wondering what I'd done wrong. Was it something I said?

A different one, with longer, olive green hair and lavender eyes spoke up, stating, "There's a common saying in the Living World called "going green". It means he wants us to become environmentally friendly. Less electricity and such."

_**(...Would it be just too horrible of me to say, "I told you so,"?)**_

_Yes, Angel, yes it would._

_**(That one's Sung-Sun, in case you were wondering.)**_

_I wasn't, actually. I already knew that!_

_**(Of course. Just like you know the name of the third one.)**_

_I do! It's...uh...Gila Lily? No, no...Hira Petunia?_

_**(...Mila Rose.)**_

_I knew that!_

"Wait...," Mila Rose began, her green eyes widening in shock, "Did you seriously _**paint Las Noches green?"**_

"Uh, well...Only half of it...?"

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**With Iiana**

Iiana was no fool; she'd realized quite early on that it wasn't Aizen's intention to paint the palace green. However, she couldn't contradict Mizari-sama herself, so she'd waited for someone else to step in. Once that someone else (Halibel-sama) had arrived on the scene, she'd departed.

"Lezarro," Ulquiorra-sama greeted her, nodding in acknowledgement. It'd taken quite a bit of work for her to ascend to that level, but she was more than determined, and even Ulquiorra had certain things he needed taken care of. "I assume you received my message?" She nodded, confirming that she had indeed received it (and read it thoroughly), so he continued, "He'll arrive soon. You should be in position to prevent any...accidents."

After nodding once again, this time in agreement, Iiana took off. She already had a very good idea of where he'd end up...

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**With Grimmjow**

"I'm so fuckin' bored...," Grimmjow growled to himself, laying back in his floor with his arms folded behind his head. There was no one to fight, no one to push around, no one to screw, and most agitatingly, no one to talk to. Even that dipshit Nnoitra would be better than the freaking _**wall**_**...**

A sudden series of loud taps at his window jolted Grimmjow out of his lazy stupor. He leapt to his feet, hands already at the hilt of his...nonexistent sword. "Dammit!" he cursed, cyan eyes darting around the messy room as he searched for Pantera.

It was nowhere to be seen, however, and his attacker was fast approaching. Already, the guy had hopped through his window, something similar to wings protruding from his back. Before Grimmjow could discern precisely what they were, the stranger had folded them into his back, staring at Grimmjow with a wide, mischevious grin on his face.

"Ciao! I'm Raphael, nice ta' meet'cha!"

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry it's a tad short, but hey, the plot has finally made an appearance! I'm hoping that will continue throughout the next chapter, but sometimes humor jumps me when I'm least expecting it...Feel free to leave a review on your way out, even if it's just to say "Awesome!" or "Rad!" or "Amazing!" or "Brilliant!" or "Hysterical Ingenius!"...Or, if you're not feeling the love, you can say it sucks. I won't be hurt...too badly. Although, helpful criticism would be even better! **

**~Tobi~**

***Ciao is Italian for "Hello". And goodbye, I think.**


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